Saying Farewell Is Never Easy
by TheBlueSheep
Summary: Most things are not what they seem to be and Gintoki makes a possibly fatal mistake by forgetting whom he's dealing with. [During the Joui War. No pairings]


**Disclaimer:** Nah

**Rating:** Uh, K? I think?

**Pairings: **None intended

**Genre:** Uhh, Hurt/Comfort_ish_, Friendship_ish_, Humour_ish_... There's a lot of _ish_ness in this story, I'm afraid.

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**Saying Farewell Is Never Easy**

It wasn't a rare sight. Seeing someone standing over a raised bump on the ground, head lowered and hands clenched by their sides, was something they had all become accustomed to. As the war dragged on, there were more and more such sights and so most had grown numb to the increasing number of makeshift tombs they had to leave behind and that was okay. The dead had to be left behind in order to protect the living.

But then there were some who could never really get used to seeing their comrades and friends being buried into the sometimes half frozen, sometimes sopping wet soil. Sometimes they even had to burn the remains and spread the ashes later.

Gintoki was one of those people, he knew it himself. So was Takasugi, though the bastard almost never showed it. As for Tatsuma... well, no one never really knew what– _if_ the loud idiot was thinking, but Gintoki was certain he hated it as well. There were a few others, easy to recognize by the slowly withering souls they carried, and most of them didn't last very long in this brutal and unforgiving situation they were in.

And then there was Zura. Without fail, when someone died he was there to mourn. It didn't matter to him if they were from the Kiheitai or from his own faction or wherever, he was there to send them off each and every time.

And that was exactly what he was doing when Gintoki found him that evening.

It was inappropriate, he thought briefly as he watched his friend crouching next to a fresh grave, face hidden by his long hair he so stubbornly refused to cut. It was the rainy season so it was supposed to be raining, but instead the sun shone shamelessly down onto the sad scenery like it didn't have a care in the world.

Gintoki stayed behind the trees and watched until Zura moved a little and stood up. Gintoki still couldn't see his expression, but he didn't need or want to anyway. He already knew what he would find there and it wasn't anything nice.

But Gintoki knew how badly Zura wanted to talk to someone _anyone_ about how brave and honourable they had been, no matter how he had to lie for that. It seemed to make Zura feel a little better and that was all that mattered. It was a bit odd anyway, usually there were at least a few people around at times like this, but he was there completely alone.

Still, Gintoki waited a few more minutes before approaching slowly, making sure he was loud enough to be noticed. The last thing either of them needed was to catch anyone or to be caught off guard. He stood next to his friend and didn't say a word.

These tombs were a rather pathetic way to remember anyone, Gintoki thought. All that was left of a person was a raised bump in the ground and medium-sized stone at the head. Sometimes there was also a katana or a naginata jammed into the ground, but only if the weapon was broken beyond repair. They were running low on food, weapons, medical supplies, everything and couldn't waste anything on those who didn't need them anymore.

"Kuroda Mametchi," Zura said after a long pause. Gintoki... didn't know that name, but that wasn't at all surprising. Nor did it matter. He briefly thought it was a weird name, but then again, who was he to judge. Some people liked giving their kids weird names. Maybe they hoped their children would be remembered then or something.

"He was a good man. A great soldier," Zura continued. The wind playing softly with their hair was surprisingly cold for the start of summer. "It's all my fault," he whispered barely audibly, his head bowed low. A few drops of rain splattered onto the ground.

Gintoki looked up at the blue sky. That's the rainy season for you. It could even rain when there was not one cloud in sight.

"He fought so long. He fought well. It's all my fault. He shouldn't have..." his voice broke. It wasn't unusual for Zura to blame himself and Gintoki knew how it felt. The feeling that if only they were a little faster or a little stronger, maybe they could protect more wasn't foreign to him. But still...

"Zura..." Gintoki started.

"No, don't say anything, Gintoki. It's... it's completely my fault this time, so don't even try, okay? If only I... If only I had fed him on time, none of this would have happened..."

"Zura, you know that..." The words registered. "Wait, what?"

"He was hungry. I was busy and didn't... didn't feed him on time. I don't deserve to be a leader..." he whispered angrily.

That didn't make any sense. There were other people taking care of the injured. Sure, a pair of helping hands was always welcome, but it wasn't usually their responsibility. Unless...

"Zura, don't tell me. This Kuroda Mametchi guy wasn't... _a cat,_ was he?"

Zura looked at him in confusion with damp red eyes. "Of course he was," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He was just a kitten, too. He had grey stripes and yellow eyes and his paws were so soft and... and..." He covered his face with hands and his shoulders shook.

Gintoki facepalmed as everything clicked. The idiotic name that reeked of Zura's interference, the reason why he was the only one there, everything suddenly made sense and Gintoki raised a hand to whack that idiot for being an idiot. But then a thought made him stop and slowly lower his hand again.

Gintoki knew Zura sometimes took in abandoned animals they found from the deserted farms and villages. He secretly fed and took care of them until he found a safe enough place to leave them behind to bars or cabaret clubs, sometimes a kind family, but every time he would stay as long as he could, petting them and making their new owners promise that they would be completely safe there. Eventually he would leave, but would keep swiftly wiping his eyes when he thought no one was looking all day.

It would've been better if Zura had told someone about the cat. With how busy he usually was, it was hard to take care of young animals that needed more care than normal. If he had told Gintoki, then of course he would have whined and called him an idiot for keeping a pet when they were struggling even to keep their own _lives,_ but between the two of them they would have had enough time to look after the poor creature.

Gintoki sighed, then lightly squeezed his friend's shoulder for a second. "Come on, Zura, you know you can't stay here. You are needed and we both got duty to attend to." It took a short while, but Zura nodded and he turned to climb down the hill, avoiding branches and small rocks that threatened to break his legs if he wasn't careful enough. He could hear Zura trailing after him and, well, what he said was almost true. Zura really did have duty to attend to, but Gintoki had to spend the rest of the evening doing his best to avoid doing anything at all. Over the years he had gotten pretty good at it, too.

After almost falling when his foot got caught in a rabbit hole, he finally got down from the cursed hill and could take on a more peaceful pace. A few seconds later Zura also almost faceplanted onto the muddy ground because of the same hole – seriously, he should have found a better place to bury the departed cat.

But at the same time he knew there was no better place. First, it was way too soggy to dig a grave anywhere on lower grounds, and second, the view from the top of the hill over the deep green forest to the lake glittering in the sunlight like a giant sapphire was something even Gintoki could appreciate.

The nonchalant sun prepared itself to set, dying the sky light pink. The silence became suffocating soon enough and Gintoki fought the urge to say something. Zura was obviously still upset over the whole kitten thing and he walked beside him with a distant look on his face and there was nothing Gintoki could say or do to make him feel any better. A few minutes later Gintoki lost his internal battle and opened his mouth to speak, just as there was a high-pitched beeping sound and Zura reached into his sleeve, pulling out a small purple gadget.

"Umm, what's that, Zura?" Gintoki asked. Zura pressed a few buttons and there was another beeping sound.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." Gintoki was too busy being confused to notice the slight feeling of relief at the usual stupid comeback. "I have to take good care of my new Tamagotchi, don't I? I don't want this one dying." He pressed a few more buttons. "Ahahaha, if you think you can win this game against me then you are young and foolish, Kuroda Mametchi II. Young and foolish, I tell you! What are you doing, Gintoki? I thought you said you had duty to attend to? Come on, hurry up!"

"Zura," Gintoki said quietly.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," he insisted. Gintoki ignored it.

"Are you telling me that Kuroda Mametchi was a Tamagotchi, too?" he asked with a perfectly calm voice.

"Yes, of course. Honestly, I was a bit hesitant to take a new egg, but I think it's time to let Kuroda Mametchi go. I can't grieve him forever. Now it's time for Kuroda Mametchi II to rise. Wait, did you think he was a real cat? I guess you are just as young and foolish as Kuroda Mametchi II, huh, Gintoki? Hey, what are you... Oh, you want a Tamagotchi too? Well, I'm afraid I'm not giving you mine, so you have to ask Kiyoshi, I got it from him. Hey, what are you doing with it? That's not how it's supposed to be used, Gintoki. Oh well, it can't be helped, let me show you how to use it. Wait, Gintoki? What are you doing? Gintoki? Gintoki!"

The scream Katsura let out into the otherwise peaceful evening could be heard from miles away. The sun continued its setting with complete apathy.

-x-x-

Several dots of light were jumping between the trees in the dark forest some hours later. If one would listen carefully, they would hear hushed calling, "Katsura-san! Katsura-san, where are you? Katsura-saan!"

If one would go a little closer, they would also hear a conversation, "Where do you think he disappeared to?"

"I don't know, but I've got a bad feeling about this. Shiroyasha-san came back looking pretty pissed earlier. What if he found enemy spies out here?"

"That would explain the scream we heard. But Katsura-san is strong enough to take care of a few spies, right?"

"Accidents happen more often than you think, Tanaka-kun. You're still young and foolish, but you'll learn this soon enough. Wait, did you hear that?"

There was a short pause.

"Sounds like... something fell from a tree?"

There was another, slightly longer pause.

"Come on, this way! And don't let that lantern go out!"

"Yes, Sanada-san!"

This time the pause was filled with cracking branches and silent curses.

"Ah, Katsura-san! Are you alright, Katsura-san? Heeey, we found him!"

"Who did this to you, Katsura-san? We'll pay them right back, I promise! Just give me a name, Katsura-san!"

"Don't bother," a third, weak voice said.

"Hang in there, Katsura-san, we'll get help right away!"

"No, run away from here! Run and save yourself while you still can! He came back... He came back for revenge..."

"Who did, Katsura-san? Who came back? From whom do we have to run?"

"Kuroda Mametchi. You have to save yourself... save yourself from the White Spirit of Revenge!"

"Aaah, don't pass out, Katsura-san! Please hang on, help is here! Noo, Katsura-saaaan!"

The echo of that shout died shortly in the dark night.

If one would now take a look back at the brave soldiers' camp, they would see another White Spirit of Revenge downing unceremoniously his sixth glass of sake.

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**Author's notes:** NO ANIMALS OR TAMAGOTCHIS WERE HARMED IN THE PROGRESS OF WRITING THIS FIC. Execpt for my own cat who's pride was hurt when I lifted her off the keyboard. She hates me now.

For those who don't know, the **Tamagotchi** is a handheld digital pet. It's created in Japan and it was first sold in 1996. But it's late and I'm tired so Google it for more information and pictures. 'kay?

**Kuroda Mametchi** is a name derived from a Tamagotchi character Kuromametchi and that is... so unoriginal... Shutuuup, I'm trash at coming up with names, okay?

And to be quite honest, I have no idea what this fic is. Sorry about that.

Oh, right, and if there's anything wrong with my flawless (psh, yeah) Tamagotchi description and logic, then I'm sorry. The last time I actually held a real Tamagotchi was, I think, at least 15 years ago. Good thing there aren't any hardcore Tamagotchi fans reading this, eh? Also, did you guys know that there are some M rated Tamagotchi fics? I was too scared to read them, though.


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